In the late 1980's, I worked at the
Stafford Courthouse Seven-Eleven, in Virginia. I loved working the
graveyard shift, because the most interesting people came in.
One night, just before midnight, I had
a 16 year old kid and about four of his friends roll in, and they
grabbed some sodas and come to the counter. He took the lead as first
in line, plopping two sodas down on the counter in front of me. I
smiled and asked him, "will that be all?"
He replied politely, "No. I'd like
to get a pack of condoms."
I turned toward the rack we had behind
the counter, and asked, "Any preference?"
He looked a bit sheepish, but replied
with, "What's the largest ones you got?"
His friends started laughing. He turned
and smacked one in the chest, and told them, "Knock it off,
man."
Well, to say the least, I was amused by
the request. So I felt a need to take this a bit further, and said,
"Well a popular large condom are called Magnums. But, if you're really
packing, you might want the Hefty Man brand."
The kid said, "Okay. I'll take
those." I reached down bellow the counter, and grabbed them and
brought the "Hefty Man brand" up and dropped it on the
counter, in front of the kid.
He and his friends all had this weird
look on their faces, as they looked at the large roll of what was
actually just a roll of black Hefty trash bags that we kept behind
the counter— for when we needed to change out the coffee station
trashcans— so,I quickly bellied up to the register, and said,
"That'll be $12.98 for the Hefty Man condoms, plus $1.20 for the
sodas. Don't forget to use the built in drawstring to catch and
lock-in all your man sauce."
The friends cracked up, and the kid
laughed, despite being a bit red in the face.
I then just sold him the Magnums,
though he most likely just needed regular size. Well, the word "need"
is stretching things a bit.
